목요일, 6월 30, 2005
Another normal dae.
Nothing much is happening in my life recently. Well, unless u count the usual. Everyday, its jus work, tuition, home, sleep. N the cycle repeats itself obediently from monday to friday without fail. Now u will think that maybe weekends will be very different. Nah, u are assuming too much. Sat is tuition, tuition, home, rot the time away, sleep. N Sun comes as fast as it goes. Thats practically how my week passes. Period. Sigh...
BORING!! How come nothing exciting seems to happen in my life anymore? Dun get me wrong, im as happy as a lark with my life right now. But its jus darn monotonous..i mean i can just predict what will happen next lor. Ok, i noe i do hate changes, but i dun mind surprises. But guess nobody will be around to surprise me anymore.
Heh but sth nice did happen todae. My manager let me approve appeal cases on my own! -smile- But dun worry, im pretty much a generous ger cos im not the one paying for the iPod shuffles n Samsonite Sahora laptop backpacks anywae..Haha. But quite fun lah. Especially now im getting the hang of everything so can do quite fast. Appeal cases are alot k..u noe how wu liao pple are..this also wan to appeal, that also wan to appeal .Oh n guess who i saw in the list? Dr Chua Kim Lee..heh. She's the 2102 lecturer rt? Or did i rem wrongly again..but her profession was lecturer also. Cant be so qiao ba. She invested quite alot..lol. I seem q kaypo. That time saw the lecturer for my einstein module getting married and now see my lsm lecturer investing. Heh.
또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:50 PM
일요일, 6월 26, 2005
Ahh..I finally see light after the rain. Heh ok, maybe i am exaggerating abit. But my previous post does sound pretty much on the depressing side. Oh well, the rain has stopped, the skies are no longer dark n gloomy n i see a rainbow spreading its wings over the blue blue sky. Whatever. Jus wanna sae everything is alright again lah. My life continues as usual, n like what i always sae, this world will not stop spinning jus cos of anyone i.e.nobody is indispensable in this world.
I jus wanna live the way that makes me happy. Is that hard to ask for? Nah. Im an optimist. Well, now is. Abit. A baby step is better den nothing right? So stop pouring cold water on me.
Im watching my dolphin bay again! Heh thanks to my jie n his other mei. Although i do miss the feeling of chasing it on tv last time...
또 울어버렸다.. @ 11:05 PM
월요일, 6월 20, 2005
Silence
This entry was meant to be a tribute to someone. A girl whom i did not know well, yet who managed to endear herself to me while she was still around. In fact, it was the first time this year that i met her again since more than a decade ago and i certainly did not expect that my second time would have been the
last time. She was 2 years younger than me, for Christ's sake. And her life was taken away from her forcefully, if i may add. Cos til now, i do not believe that she could have jumped of her own accord. So To the Person who did it, mark my words, u will go down with her somedae. So damn u.
I went to the wake. It was awfully devoid of relatives save for my mum n one or two aunts that the gal had. The rest was made up of her friends, her brother's friends n her sister's friends. Pathetic? No, i beg to differ. Even though the friends were all bengs n lians, they seemed truly solemn n respectful despite their age. Yes, i do not deny that my mum's cousin was what most pple would have termed as a 'lian'. Yet she was the most affable, candid n friendly girl i had ever known. N never forget. For She had a truly big heart n neva failed to chat pple up, tryin to make them feel less awkward. That was her. Always smiling.
I hope that is how she will be, whatever she is now.
Life is terribly short.
I spent one-fifth of a century wandering on this Earth. Did i come to this world to accomplish something? Was it happiness? Or was it true love? Nah, i shook my head. It should have been something of more significance. So what issit? I scratched my head n stared blankly ahead, at my pink n blue wall. It didnt give me any hints. Now im confounded. Maybe i just need some time to ponder. But do i have enough time? Thats how it is with most pple, isnt it. They come to this world, try to think what is their purpose for coming, but in the end, they die before they had enough time to think. So the burning question is: Will we ever know what we are supposed to know? I know im beating around the bush to bring my point across. N i doubt anyone would have understood what i am really saying. But its ok, i do not require pple to understand and agree with my thoughts. Cos like what angie says, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. We are living in a liberal era, arent we. So please do not get swayed by my idealist views of this otherwise, cold n unfeeling world. Confusion strikes me once again as i continue to type frantically away on the keyboard. I should stop expressing myself in a supposedly
cheem way. Cos now it sounds pretty fake to myself.
In any case, i should end on a slightly local manner in order to get myself understood. So wat i was tryin to sae above is that, puh-leease tell the person u like that u like her/him before she/he kicks the bucket lah. Understooded? Thankew. So die die also mus sae k? at least must try mah. At most get rejected only, wun die. Skin thick abit can le lor. Scurry it works leh, den u happy mah. If dun work, den paiseh, too bad lor. Not my prob le. Experience lah. Trust me, i have been thru this twice oredi. N for goodness' sake, what is so gd abt SPG's weblog?? Fine..guys are all sicko..
또 울어버렸다.. @ 7:16 PM
목요일, 6월 09, 2005
Sad again..
Hiaks im feelin sad again cos another chapter of my life has jus ended! My dolphin bay finally came to an end yesterdae. Cun say i like the ending though. N i realised throughout the whole show, only 2 characters remained true to the person they loved n i really respect them for that. One of them was Shanni n the other was Manqing. They were so devoted despite the fact that it was almost totally one-sided wishful thinking on their part. In the end, they did get wat they want i guess but somehow it seems pretty superficial to me. N surprise, surprise the two worst pple in the show turned out to be zeya n xiaogang. Fickle minded, not knowing wat they really want n doin stupid things. But i think most guys are like that. They simply cun like just one ger forever. Maybe its the wiring in their brains that makes them so different from gers. To them, more is merrier. Right?
Now whenever i listen to ambrose's song i feel saad..cos the show is over n i have nothin to look forward to anymore. =( Times like this makes me wonder the importance of knowing the end result. I mean i do know the urge of hopin to see the ending when u watch a show, but once u know it, isnt everything over? To some, it may mean the beginning but i just dun see it the way these pple do. I dun see how it can be the start when the parts which are the most meaningful are already over. I admit, i dig the process. Cos it is only during the process that u get all the sweetest memories of the relationship (more of courtship). Of cos i also dun deny that once the relationship starts u might be happier. Nah, this is just my personal view. I would gladly welcome any attempts to try to convert my thinking. Haha dun get me wrong k. Im not a despo. (i know hy will agree otherwise but doubt she will c this anywae)
Ooh, speaking abt hy, im supposed to help her be on the lookout. Haha kt n ng dun tell her i wrote on a public blog abt this k..ssshhh..oh ng, hy's taste is surprisingly diff from ours, so wat we dun like mebbe she will....u know..heh..yeah 3 more daes to the chalet~
또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:05 AM
화요일, 6월 07, 2005
Hmmm...
Heh feelin real excited about Sun's chalet now. Even though it isnt my chalet in the first place but im still happy for ng mah. Heh. Hope everything goes right or else ng will be tellin me that she is very stressed again.Lol. Oops kinda forgot wat i wanted to write anymore cos my mum called me n talked so much crap. Wait lemme recollect my thoughts first. *thinking.........*
Hmm cun rem le lah. Alamah. anywae i keep repeating the song that my jie put on our blog. Heh dunno why ambrose's voice has a soothing effect on me. But well like wat jie says, i might cease to like him after dolphin bay ends. Quite plausible i think, but hope not lor. Cos im a self declared devoted gal. Heh fine doubt alot of pple will agree with me. Yeah sundae can play mahjong le. So long neva play n yesterdae when i went to check on my poor tiles, i realised they are turning yellow le. My poor poor agar-lookalike tiles. Haha. But i cun bring them along for e chalet also lah cos tue i will be goin work after checkin out n i dowanna lug so much around. Somemore i think i will look pretty weird alreade cos im bringin my haversack to work. Imagine office clothes with haversack. So weird. But no choice lah. Jus hope e security guards wun think im smuggling bombs or wat into the office.
또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:10 AM
목요일, 6월 02, 2005
Poor Shanni...
Hiaks. Poor poor shanni. Why does she have to die?? N letting her die when she is so happy...sigh.Leaving this world at the peak of ur happiness--Is that considered good or bad?To me, its real bad. Cos i dun think i will be able to give it up. How can i. when your happiest moments are jus right in front of u. N all u can do is to give it all up n bid a sad farewell to something u have been lookin so much forward to it. But looking at her, i really think gettin married is the happiest thing that can happen to u in ur entire life. Well of cos provided that u are getting married to the person u love most. Without that person, i guess marriage would just lose its meaning. I admit, im a hopeless romantic at heart but somehow i jus doubt true love. Does it really exist in this world? I dunno, n i dun have the faintest idea of how i can know. So in e end, im just a hopeless romantic cynic. Someone who believes in true love in drama yet doubts it in real life. What an irony. But i do envy couples who do display true love in real life. Of cos, if they do exist. Im too cynical already. Nah, maybe the correct person just hasnt come along yet. (self consolation) Anyway at the present moment, im jus content with the pple around me. They are enough i guess. At least for now.
Hmm, in the end, im still stuck with my job. They asked me to work part time instead n i jus din have the heart to refuse. I mean, they are a big company, n the fact that they din hire another person...u noe. So just stay on for as long as i can manage lor. Anyway, they are trying out the part time arrangement for 2 weeks so who noes, maybe at the end of it i might still get the sack. Well, it all depends on fate. Although i cun sae i have alot of 'feelings' for the company, i think i do have some affinity with it. Working there twice, at different branches n different positions. The miracle of it. Lol. But working there really enriches my experience by alot. (I'm being sarcastic, mind u)The first time i folded so many letters into envelopes i feel like im folding incense paper n training my biceps at the same time. The first time i wasted so much A4 white papers (n i really mean aLOT--they are almost like 10cm high so imagine urself) cos i was tryin to print out 416 letters n i dunno why my first attempt came out a disaster. Ok i must clarify in case pple think im such an idiot that i cun even print out letters. I have to do mail merge from Excel file to form my letters from Word the stupid thing just refuses to work. In addition, this is my first time doin mail merge! what on earth is that u tell me. N the stupid comp i have is like a pentium 2 lor. Slow sia. Not i wan to complain.
On a happier note, i finally got back my results! heh. My first A and A+ in the same sem. Ok fine i know my previous results were bad enuf cos the highest i got was like an A- only so jus let me gloat awhile over my results can. Sorry jie n angie, jus pretend u all din read this paragraph lah. Thankew.
Yeah i finally found a place i can learn my knitting. So happy n excited. Been trying to learn for ages but self learning really is a bad thing cos i hardly get any motivation at all. So this time im full of confidence i will be able to do it. N i saw something else that i wanna learn too..Heh embroidery! Super cool leh i mean when i saw the shop owner doing it. She was sewing this snow white portrait. There seem to be an endless amount of things i wanna learn in this hols that i feel like im being overloaded. But kai xin jiu hao le. =)
또 울어버렸다.. @ 8:39 PM